Father's invocation against his young daughter

Question

Peace be upon you!

I want to ask you a question and please console me. My husband invoked Allah against my young daughter who is one year and six months old due to problems and conflicts between me and him. He said that he does not want to divorce me because of that young child so as to grow up and live in a coherent family. However, when we argued, he invoked Allah against her; she is innocent. Now, I am afraid that Allah would respond to his invocation. She is my only daughter whom I delivered after many difficulties, could you kindly relieve me?

My husband deprives me from my rights, such as: Alimony and the right of bed (sexual intercourse). I am oppressed and I do not demand such rights so as not to be separated or divorced and my daughter would be dispersed between my family and his family.

Thank you very much.

Answer

Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon the Messenger of Allah, his family, his Companions, and those who follow him righteously until the Day of Recompense.

Children are the greatest bless in this worldly life as Allah says: "Wealth and children are the adornment of the life of this world." [Surat Kahf: 46]. They are the joy of their parents and part of them. Of the invocation of righteous people is: "Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders of the Muttaqûn (the pious)." [Surat Al Furqan: 74], i.e., to see them obedient to their Lord, safe, and sound. As this is a supplication to their offspring, it is a supplication for themselves because the righteousness of children returns with goodness to the parents, therefore they are a gift to their parents. Moreover, their supplication would return with goodness on the society because the righteousness of the offspring is a cause for the righteousness of the society; how could he replace this with invoking Allah against them?!

The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) forbade that parents invoke Allah against their children, money, and selves lest their invocation may correspond an hour of answering the supplication. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "Do not invoke Allah against yourselves, do not invoke Allah against your children, do not invoke Allah against your wealth lest your invocations may correspond an hour of answering the invocation, and he would answer your invocation." [Reported by Muslim (3014)].

He should replace this invocation with invoking Allah for his daughter because it will be responded by the will of Allah. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "Three calls answered them no doubt therein: Call the oppressed, and to invite the traveler, and the prayer of a father to his son." [Reported by Ahmad and Ibn Majah].

It is a common error that many parents invoke Allah against their children when the children do something causes anger to them. Instead, they should invoke Allah for them with granting them guidance, reform their conditions, and guide them to the Straight Path.

As for your fear that Allah may respond to that supplication, let it be known that Allah does not respond to the parents in the time of anger. Allah (Glory be to Him) says: "And were Allâh to hasten for mankind the evil (they invoke for themselves and for their children, while in a state of anger) as He hastens for them the good (they invoke) then they would have been ruined. So We leave those who expect not their meeting with Us, in their trespasses, wandering blindly in distraction." [Surat Yunus: 11]:

It was reported in "Tafsir Ibn Kathir": Allah tells us about His Forbearance and Kindness toward His Servants: Their invocations against themselves, money, or children shall not be answered because Allah knows that they do not intend that. Therefore, He does not answer their invocations out of His Kindness and Mercy as He answers their invocations for themselves, money, and children with goodness, blessing, and increase. Therefore, Allah (Glory be to Him) says: "And were Allâh to hasten for mankind the evil (they invoke for themselves and for their children, while in a state of anger) as He hastens for them the good (they invoke) then they would have been ruined." [Surat Yunus: 11]; i.e., if Allah had responded to them in all their invocations, He would have destroyed them but they should not do that frequently because of the Prophet's saying: "Do not invoke Allah against yourselves, do not invoke Allah against your children, do not invoke Allah against your wealth lest your invocations may correspond an hour of answering the invocation, and he would answer your invocation."