How should I deal with my son who uses chat?

Question

What is the Islamic ruling on using chat with the opposite sex, i.e., between male and female, where I found my son chats with others for a long time?

What is the best way of advice? Kindly advise the way of treatment.

Answer

Praise be to Allah and peace be upon the Messenger of Allah, his family, his Companions, and those who followed him.

We have mentioned the ruling on chatting between opposite sexes in numerous Fatwas (Shar`y rulings), such as: "The ruling on chatting with the opposite sex", "Dialogue between men and women in forums", "Talking via the Internet with the opposite sex".

As for what your son does, the best way of advice is as follows:
1 - Frequent supplication for him with good, success, and guidance.

2 - Exhorting him to do good deeds, keep away from the prohibited actions, and reminding him of the reward of those who grow up in the shade of worship. The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: “Allah will give shade to seven on the Day when there will be no shade but His. Of which is: A youth who has been brought up in the worship of Allah (i.e. worships Allah sincerely from childhood).” [Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

3 - Be keen to link him with a pious company because befriending good people exhorts to piety and a friend affects his friend positively or negatively, as the saying goes:

Do not ask about a person and ask about his companionship because every person follows the example of his friend.

4 - Sit with your children to explain to them the following:

• The danger of chatting with the opposite sex via the Internet and explain to them the damage that affects the heart and religion due to that which causes people to indulge in prohibited matters as we see today in our societies. You can also refer them to some Fatwas discussing this issue in particular.

• The importance of time as it is the man's capital in life as well as a great favor from Allah that a person must use in good for he shall be hold accountable for on the Day of the Recompense. The Messenger (peace be upon him) said: "The feet of a person will not move a step on the Day of the Recompense until he is asked about four things - then he mentioned of them - about his lifetime, in what he spent it?" [Reported by At-Tirmidhy]. In another narration: “about his youth and what did he do in that?”

The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: “Benefit from five things before you are afflicted with five things - then he mentioned - From your free time before you get busy and from your youth before you grow old.” [Reported by Al-Hakim].

Free time is followed by business, health is followed by sickness, and youthfulness is followed by old age; therefore the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “There are two blessings which many people lose: (They are) Health and free time for doing good.” [Reported by Al-Bukhari]. So, the world is the farm of the Hereafter, and whoever uses his free time and health in obedience, he shall be the winner. However, anyone uses that in disobeying Allah, he shall be the loser, but the smart person is the one who uses time in things that benefits him either these things in the world or in the Hereafter. That smart person does not forsake the thanking of Allah for the blessings He granted, and that thanking will be through obeying His Commands and avoiding His prohibitions.

5 - Do not let them use the Internet or any other device incorrectly either by subscribing to some services that do not allow them to enter the unwanted sites that you authorize, using some programs that do the same service, keeping them away from the Internet, do not let them be alone with the computer, and place the computer in the living room. If they are not deterred by what we have mentioned and continue in chatting, cancel the Internet subscription.

We ask Allah to reform your children and to take him to piety and good. And Allah knows best.